Well, I have been struggling in this area for a little bit now. Not that anyone would know because I am a very private person with my feelings. I love that I have so many new women in my life. It's been so much fun. For the first time in my life, I am trusting women and not worried as much about the preconceived ideas I had of women friends. I have always known that I should have women to lean on and depend on, but childhood hurts have pushed me away from them.
I am a person who loves close relationships, but doesn't necessarily feel that I have them. At least outside of family. I have my twin and my husband but other than that, I am not like other women who claim to have best friends. I think I expect a lot with that title. And that may be my own issue. I'm not quite sure.
I am not an extrovert. But once you get to know me, I open up. I tend to always assume what others think of me instead of just finding out. I overanalyze so much. Like now. Can't you tell? I want closeness, but at the same time I don't want to be smothered. I don't know if I am the only person like this. I just know that there is a need in my life and I don't know if this is the area. I like having multiple friends,because it mixes things up a bit. But I am envious of others who have that go-to person. That person you call when you have a problem. The person who knows you and won't judge you for your quirks. I feel like I am rambling, but it is hard to sort out what I am thinking and feeling. It's strange, but I am learning from it. I hope those reading this won't steer clear of the crazy woman writing this, but pray for God to make things clearer for her. To guide her.
