Well last night I decided to get back on track I've gotta start taking one step at a time. Well one step made today, no matter how insignificant it seems to others is the fact that I finally finished my shawl. A crocheting project I've picked up and put back down for years. This is huge for me, to actually complete something. A small step in changing my way of thinking. I've gotta get a grip on my procrastination and finish up what I set out to do.
I FEEL FABULOUS
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
New start (again)
Well, I have made some decisions that are gonna either make things better or I'm gonna kick myself. I'm hoping things will just get better. I could really use some things going my way for once.
I have been persuing a management career at Publix for over a year and a half now. I truly felt this is what I needed to do for my kids and me. But seeing how this year has gone, I don't think this is the plan for me. I work a ridiculous schedule. There are days that I go where I don't see my kids at all. And quite frankly, nothing is worth that for me. Period. Those kids are what keep me going everyday. I am responsible for them and their well being. And that doesn't mean being an absentee parent. That is just not for me. I pray that I am making the best choice by going back to my job at Springhills fulltime. They have offered me a slot on 7-3 fulltime. And I just can't pass this opportunity up. I know that if things don't pan out with them I will still have Publix in my back pocket. I will not quit Publix. It is a great place to work, but it can't be my life right now. i have 3 kids needing me.
I have also decided that I can't be lazy anymore. I gotta get this butt back into shape. No more excuses. No more drive thrus. I gotta commit to being healthy for the kids and myself. I need to be a good example to my daughter about body image. She watches everything I do, so I want to make sure she keeps her self confidence. I already see her talking about her weight. Gotta nip that in the bud.
Today was my first run. I feel great. I did a lot more walking than running, but still. I got my butt out there. That's a huge step for me. I wanna keep going and I am a person who needs motivation, so I hope I will find fun ways to mix it up. Whether training for a 5k or working out with a friend.
I have been persuing a management career at Publix for over a year and a half now. I truly felt this is what I needed to do for my kids and me. But seeing how this year has gone, I don't think this is the plan for me. I work a ridiculous schedule. There are days that I go where I don't see my kids at all. And quite frankly, nothing is worth that for me. Period. Those kids are what keep me going everyday. I am responsible for them and their well being. And that doesn't mean being an absentee parent. That is just not for me. I pray that I am making the best choice by going back to my job at Springhills fulltime. They have offered me a slot on 7-3 fulltime. And I just can't pass this opportunity up. I know that if things don't pan out with them I will still have Publix in my back pocket. I will not quit Publix. It is a great place to work, but it can't be my life right now. i have 3 kids needing me.
I have also decided that I can't be lazy anymore. I gotta get this butt back into shape. No more excuses. No more drive thrus. I gotta commit to being healthy for the kids and myself. I need to be a good example to my daughter about body image. She watches everything I do, so I want to make sure she keeps her self confidence. I already see her talking about her weight. Gotta nip that in the bud.
Today was my first run. I feel great. I did a lot more walking than running, but still. I got my butt out there. That's a huge step for me. I wanna keep going and I am a person who needs motivation, so I hope I will find fun ways to mix it up. Whether training for a 5k or working out with a friend.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, February 26, 2009
friendships
Well, I have been struggling in this area for a little bit now. Not that anyone would know because I am a very private person with my feelings. I love that I have so many new women in my life. It's been so much fun. For the first time in my life, I am trusting women and not worried as much about the preconceived ideas I had of women friends. I have always known that I should have women to lean on and depend on, but childhood hurts have pushed me away from them.
I am a person who loves close relationships, but doesn't necessarily feel that I have them. At least outside of family. I have my twin and my husband but other than that, I am not like other women who claim to have best friends. I think I expect a lot with that title. And that may be my own issue. I'm not quite sure.
I am not an extrovert. But once you get to know me, I open up. I tend to always assume what others think of me instead of just finding out. I overanalyze so much. Like now. Can't you tell? I want closeness, but at the same time I don't want to be smothered. I don't know if I am the only person like this. I just know that there is a need in my life and I don't know if this is the area. I like having multiple friends,because it mixes things up a bit. But I am envious of others who have that go-to person. That person you call when you have a problem. The person who knows you and won't judge you for your quirks. I feel like I am rambling, but it is hard to sort out what I am thinking and feeling. It's strange, but I am learning from it. I hope those reading this won't steer clear of the crazy woman writing this, but pray for God to make things clearer for her. To guide her.
I am a person who loves close relationships, but doesn't necessarily feel that I have them. At least outside of family. I have my twin and my husband but other than that, I am not like other women who claim to have best friends. I think I expect a lot with that title. And that may be my own issue. I'm not quite sure.
I am not an extrovert. But once you get to know me, I open up. I tend to always assume what others think of me instead of just finding out. I overanalyze so much. Like now. Can't you tell? I want closeness, but at the same time I don't want to be smothered. I don't know if I am the only person like this. I just know that there is a need in my life and I don't know if this is the area. I like having multiple friends,because it mixes things up a bit. But I am envious of others who have that go-to person. That person you call when you have a problem. The person who knows you and won't judge you for your quirks. I feel like I am rambling, but it is hard to sort out what I am thinking and feeling. It's strange, but I am learning from it. I hope those reading this won't steer clear of the crazy woman writing this, but pray for God to make things clearer for her. To guide her.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Week Number 153
1) What is the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard?Probably the first cry that came out of Matthew's (my youngest son) mouth when he woke up from a complicated seizure. He was hospitalized and no on could tell me if my child would be okay. I was scared I would never hear his little raspy voice again. I cried as soon as I heard it!
2) If you could stop loving someone, who would it be? I couldn't do that. It's not how I am.
3) What is the hardest transition you’ve ever had to make in your life? When I was split up from my twin sister, Candy after I finished my training in the Air Force. We were stationed at opposite sides of the country. I had no idea we would never live near each other again.
4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. I thought of the snowy days I miss back in Quincy, IL. I love sledding and don't get much of a chance to here in FL. 8)
2) If you could stop loving someone, who would it be? I couldn't do that. It's not how I am.
3) What is the hardest transition you’ve ever had to make in your life? When I was split up from my twin sister, Candy after I finished my training in the Air Force. We were stationed at opposite sides of the country. I had no idea we would never live near each other again.
4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. I thought of the snowy days I miss back in Quincy, IL. I love sledding and don't get much of a chance to here in FL. 8)
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